


To Make You Understand

by reddawneyes



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Humor, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Human Castiel, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Past Abuse, Plus Cas, Post Season 8, The Family Business, hunting things, past homophobia, pre season 9, saving people
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-22
Updated: 2014-06-13
Packaged: 2018-01-09 16:50:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1148479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reddawneyes/pseuds/reddawneyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas is human, living in the bunker and tentatively and 'secretly' dating Dean (but everyone knows anyway it's not like they're subtle about it).  The only problem know is that Sam's still recovering, Cas is a stubborn dick at times and Dean doesn't know what he wants.  And as well as the host of heaven being cast out by Metatron, something called Emelei who seems intent on destroying them and a couple of the people they thought were dead being... not so dead...  it looks like things are about to get interesting<br/>(set post season 8 and mostly canonically correct up to that point but basically goes off on a tangent from there)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. "Dean!" ... "Cas!"

Dean hit the wall of the warehouse with a sharp thwack but instead of crashing to a heap on the ground, his body hung suspended by the force emanating from the teenage girl who stood at the centre of the building. Although her arm was extended towards him as she pinned him in place, her cold stare was firmly fixated on Castiel. 

“Dean!” Castiel shouted as he made to move from his place in the doorway to run towards the hunter, but as soon as he tried to step towards the hunter he found that he could no longer move. 

He tried again wondering if this was another human experience he had often heard about, whereby a person could become frozen in fear. Testing this he willed his body to respond to his commands and move again but he was still immobilised and, as he continued to try to get his arms or legs to move, the force locking his limbs only increased and he soon recognised it as more than just adrenaline or human fear. 

In a panic he looked from Dean, to the teenager and then back again wishing that he still had his angelic ‘mojo’ so that he could smite her and save Dean. 

“Nice try Castiel, but sorry, no ball” she smirked at him her British accent only adding to the menace of her words. Her blue eyes fixed on him with an intense mixture of dark amusement and anger. 

“Let. Him. Go.” Castiel growled giving her a look that, as an angel, would have made his opponent quake with fear that he would smite them. But the girl he faced now merely raised an eyebrow as the side of her mouth twitched in amusement. 

“But why would I do that? We’re just starting to have fun aren't we Dean-y boy?” For the first time her gaze left Castiel’s as she turned to look at the man she currently had pinned against the wall. “Are you not going to speak?” she taunted “You do realise that I only immobilised your bodies not your tongues?” 

Her evident amusement only grew as she watched the hunter glower, refusing to succumb to her taunts. “No? Now that’s not really going reassure your little angelic boyfriend here is it?” 

Both Dean and Castiel’s eyes widened as she spoke. “How- how do you...” Dean spluttered. “Let’s just say that I've been watching for a very, very long time. Now Castiel,” She said swiveling her gaze back to the ex-angel, “I think it’s time we had a little chat don’t you?”


	2. The Sewers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Cas, you stupid son of a bitch” Dean muttered as he trudged through the sewers underneath the city.

Three Weeks Earlier

“Cas, you stupid son of a bitch” Dean muttered as he trudged through the sewers underneath the city. 

The concoction of excrement, water and whatever else people decided to flush down the drain lapped at his legs coating his pants and Dean could feel it gripping to his legs as it got absorbed into the material and onto his skin. Dean didn’t even want to think about how many times he was going to have to disinfect himself after this. All he wanted to do was leave. But he couldn’t. Not before he found Cas. 

********************************************************** 

After hearing of the new community forming in the cities sewers following the fall Cas had been adamant that it was former angels with no other place to go. 

He had even gone so far as to correlate a connection between the map of the suspected crash sites of the angels hanging on the wall of the war room and the location of the sewers. Not to mention the large amount of police and hospital statements taken of seemingly clueless adults with no idea how to undertake even the simplest and most primal of human tasks. 

Cas had presented his findings to both Dean and Sam and, in spite of the fact that both Winchesters were sceptical, it only took Dean a look into Cas’ pleading eyes for his reserve to crumble. 

“Fine” he mumbled hanging his head in defeat. Sam snorted in amusement at how quickly Dean had caved. Even going so far as feeling a strange sense of pride at how Cas seemed to have developed his own version of Sam’s iconic ‘puppy dog eyes’ which worked perfectly on his brother. 

It had only been a month since the fall but Sam was already astounded at how well Castiel had adjusted quickly to his newfound to humanity. He suspected that this was down, more to Dean’s willingness to teach the ex-angel, than out of a natural knack for the life. 

He concluded that it must have been a bi-product of their ‘profound bond’. 

That and the fact that they never left each other’s side unless one of them needed to use the bathroom. That and the hour or so at night before they thought Sam was asleep and Cas would leave his room to sleep in Dean’s only to move back to his own before Sam woke up. 

Little did they know that the effects of the trials had not only made him more exhausted and drained but that it also left him with a fitful sleep pattern where he could not sleep for more than 5 hours at a time and had, on more than one occasion, caught the pair snuggled up in Deans bed with their arms and legs entwined protectively. They looked peaceful. 

At first Sam had considered teasing Dean about it but he stopped himself when he saw how much happier and relaxed Dean was once he knew that both Cas and Sam were safe and on the mend. 

As Sam had gotten better he had started to notice the ever increasing number of touches, smiles. Not to mention of course the constant eye fucking the pair engaged in. 

Even though Sam knew that their connection had been more than just friendship or familial, he had not believed that anything would ever come of it on account of the fact that they were ‘Damn emotionally constipated idiots’. 

Still as he sat here, even without a PSA from his brother he knew that the two of them were now together and that they had found a sense home in each other in a way neither had known before. 

Sam was still mulling over this when Dean snapped his fingers in front of his face bringing him back to the bunker and the situation at hand. 

“Sammy! You zoned out there for a minute, if you want I can get you something to drink and let you get some rest, because you are still recovering from the trials and…” Dean flustered turning into the overprotective brother that he knew and loved so much. Even if he did sometimes feel smothered by it. 

Sam rolled his eyes and cut him off as he continued to jabber on about medication and how he still needed to recuperate. 

“You do realise that I am 30 and perfectly capable of looking after myself right?” 

“Yeah, but-“ 

“No ‘but’s’, Jerk” Sam retorted a glint of humour in his eyes that made Dean relax with the familiarity of gesture. 

“Fine, bitch” Dean replied with a smirk before continuing on his previous tangent. 

“So you’ll be okay here without me and Cas for a few days whilst we go and check out this angel shing ding, yeah?” 

Sam pulled out what Dean liked to call bitch face #39 _[Are you serious? You do realise that I am a grown man and not a child.]_

“I’ll be fine, as I said, I’m 30 years old Dean! And Kevin will be back from Charlie’s tomorrow morning so I won’t be alone for more than 6 hours tops!” 

Dean still looked unconvinced but it was Cas who closed the conversation “We need to go now if we have any hope of finding them safe and well. They are my family and I need to get them to safety. I have to help them, Dean. Especially as all this is my own fault.” 

Dean’s eyes were drawn back to Cas’ and softened. 

“Okay Cas, we’ll leave at first light okay. I’ll go pack the car.” 

“Thank you Dean, should I help?” 

“Yeah Cas, that’d be good.” 

And with that the conversation was over and the pair left the room leaving a very amused Sam to wonder whether or not they realised how domesticated they had become. 

They were a kiss on the cheek and a ring away from a lovesick, apple pie life that was only ever found in fan fiction and cheesy chick flicks. Not that Sam knows anything about those at all. He’s certainly never read a Star Trek, Legally Blonde AU followed by both films back to back. Never. And even if he did it’s not like it influenced his choice of –attempted- career and studies in law. Never. But that’s not what we’re talking about here so, back to the narrative. 

**************************************************** 

So now Dean was trudging through sludge praying to whatever is listening (although it best not be that dick Metatron) that he finds the stupid SOB before he gets killed. 

Hell, Lucifer would be a preferable option to Metatron. At least you knew whether he was selling you down the river. 

It had turned out that it hadn’t been the group of angels Cas suspected, but rather a group of relatively unpractised shifters who had been born when their kind awaited the arrival of Eve who had grown up alone with no guidance as to how to act or appear human. 

They had taken the form of the homeless men who had been living inconspicuously under the sewers allowing them entrance into the human world. 

There may not even have been a problem had Cas not insisted on going to meet his brethren alone insisting that they would, not only be angry with him for his involvement in the expulsion of heaven, but also morbidly embarrassed at their loss of dignity and power . 

Friggin’ angels. Stupid dicks. 

Still it was a good job that Dean had not ventured far, but chose to wait outside the tunnel entrance in the impala unable to shake the feeling in his gut that something was wrong. 

It was as though he could hear Cas shouting, maybe even praying to him, and he could feel the pull in his gut telling him that he was in trouble. 

Instinct kicking in, Dean grabbed the silver knife, the demon knife and a flash light and headed into the sewers where he was instantly surrounded by the group of shifters. 

Thankfully, inexperience gave Dean the upper hand and he was able to take them out one by one with relative ease. 

Only pausing briefly as he ganked the last shifter to ask him gruffly “Where’s Cas” but the shifter merely laughed at him and spat in his face before Dean plunged the knife once more into his heart killing him before he trudged off searching for his assbutt of a boyfriend in the extensive sewer network. 

God, _‘boyfriend’_ , he sounds like a 12 year old school girl. 

He had been looking for him now for 2 hours and still he didn’t feel like he was any closer to finding him than he was when he had entered the sewers. 

That was, until he heard the shout coming from ahead of him. “DEAN!” “CAS?!” Dean shouted thanking the still missing God that he had found him alive and that he didn’t sound mortally wounded. Deans trudging turned from a slow wading to running as fast as he could through the mess of crap to Cas. 

When he finally reached the man he saw that he had a cut to his eyebrow and a split lip but he seemed otherwise unharmed. 

But that didn’t stop Dean fussing over him and insisting on checking him over, despite Cas’ pleas that he was perfectly fine. 

“Dean, please stop. I am fine. I was merely bruised and I have two minor facial wounds but I am otherwise unharmed. Although I may require disinfectant so that they don’t become infected.” 

Bless Cas, and his ability to make his injuries sound like a filed report from a high school nurse. 

“I told you something wasn’t right you idiot” Dean exclaimed finally satisfied that he really was okay and not going to die in his arms “I warned you. I told you not to come alone. They could have killed you there were 8 of them Cas and one of you and you still haven’t learnt your own-“ 

“Dean, need _I_ remind you that although I am new to humanity I was a warrior of heaven and as such I know perfectly well how to fight a group of underdeveloped shifters?” 

At Cas’ exasperated, yet sass filled, response Deans lips quirked into an amused smile and he finally stopped fussing assured that he was fine. 

“Ready to go?” 

“Yes, thank you Dean”. 

Despite Cas’ protest Dean insisted on wrapping an arm around his waist and half carrying him as they began to make their way out of the tunnels. 

“So… what happened?” Dean questioned after a few minutes of moving slowly through the sludge. 

“When I entered the sewer I called out an enochian greeting to try and draw out my brethren. But instead, I was met by the shifters. 

They claimed that they had found the hunted one and that ‘Emelei’ would be very pleased with them and refrain from slaughtering any more of their kind.” 

Dean stopped wading and turned to look at Cas. 

“Emelei?” he questioned face contorting in anger and confusion at the idea of Cas being _‘the hunted’_. 

“I don’t know, it is not a name I recognise from the garrison or my service in heaven, in hell or on earth. Although, I do have this strange feeling in my being that I ought to know it.” 

“Okay… maybe you read it in some of the Men of Letters scripts?” 

”It is possible. But I don’t think I did, it feels like a more personal connection than that.” 

“Okay, okay we’ll look into it but first things first… how did you escape them?” 

“Besides the whole ‘ex-angel of the lord, warrior of heaven’ answer you mean” Cas deadpanned. 

“Obviously” 

“I managed to use my weight and lightness of feet to my advantage. I was corned only in smaller number as it seems that they did not think that I would cause them trouble. I managed to run around them avoiding their attempts to capture purchase on me and then I ran at them shoving them into each other and I didn’t stop until I reached a dead end and deamed it safe to venture back. That was when you found me.” 

“Nice moves forest” Dean joked. 

“ … I do not understand that reference…” Cas stated; squinting at Dean and tilting his head sideways in confusion. 

“Never mind, let’s get a move on before anything comes looking for us, we don’t know who or what Emelei is and I don’t really want to stick around to find out right now.” 

“Of course, Dean.”


	3. A Nice Distraction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The car journey back to the bunker leads to Dean doing some thinking about him, Cas and the little family they built themselves.

It didn't take to long for Dean to drive them back to the bunker after the incident in the sewers 

especially when you take into account the gag-inducing mix of smells that Dean really did not want to think about in great detail. 

Still, it was nice for him to be able to be just be _with_ Cas without the paranoia that they'd be caught by Sam or a member of their adopted family. Or that Crowley, or Metatron or whoever the current big bad SOB was would see them and exploit that weakness. 

So that's how they ended up here. Smelling like shit - literally - clasping Cas' hand whilst he drives the highway home again. 

It's moments like these that Dean wishes they could stop hiding even though he’s the one that doesn’t want to tell people. It’s just too hard to come clean when he has issues that are wider and deeper than the Grand Canyon and a fear that the people he loves will leave him once they found out. 

He’s always been comfortable with _being_ bi because he knows it’s not a choice, it’s just who he is; he likes what he likes and there ain’t nothing wrong with that. But, he also knows that most hunters don’t see it the same way – because it’s not only their lore that’s from the dark ages but their view on how the world works. 

John was one of those hunters. 

Sometimes Dean still has nightmares about the time John found out that the hunters they were working with were far from just being hunting partners like Bobby and Rufus but were they were together in every sense of the word. A partnership formed on a mutual drive to hunt and love. 

Needless to say when John made the realised they were gay he didn’t react well. He beat both the men to a pulp the second the job was done and left them bloody, cold and injured on the sidewalk not caring if the bled out or died of hypothermia because they were “filthy scum who deserved what they got. And don’t you forget that Dean. Fucking fags!”. 

John spitting on their trembling, vulnerable bodies lying sprawled on the concrete is something Dean can never scrub out of his brain and is often the last thing that Dean see’s before he wakes up terrified, trembling and until recently alone. 

He was no stranger to Johns fist by the time they met Regan and Malik; Dean was Johns favourite punch bag. Dean had to make sure that John took his anger out on him and not Sammy because Dean deserved it and it was his duty to make sure that nothing happened to him. Dean didn’t matter so he let John use him. Let him punch him when he was angry, lonely, distressed, drunk and grieving and Dean would just stand there and take it. 

But still, in that one day Dean had gone from thinking that maybe he could be and love whoever he wanted without it making him any less of a damn good hunter to him encasing his emotions in a tight little box. Overcompensating with the women as he grew up if John was with him and making sure that he didn’t even look twice at the men. No matter how attracted to them he was because he knew that he could only be himself with himself. 

That might sound like a contradiction to most. And really it is, for Dean to be comfortable with who he is and how he feels but it’s another ball park entirely to be happy about it, to feel secure and not threatened, to not fear that his whole world will come crashing down around him if they all knew. But he lives with it because everyone knows that Dean fricken’ Winchester is the epitome of complicated and contradictions. 

The nightmares used to be worse when he was concerned about being quiet so he didn’t wake and worry Sam, spending nights afraid to fall asleep. But with Cas it got better. Thanks to the rather convenient secret passage between his room and Cas’ – which absolutely was not found before Cas came to live with them and he did not take it into consideration when they found the bunker and he and Sam chose rooms... No… okay maybe it did but still – with Cas, he felt better. 

He still had nightmares. He still awoke with silent screams of terror clutching at his sheets but now he had Cas to comfort him. Petting his hair and kissing his temple, shushing him and calming him with words of love and comfort and promises he had every intention of keeping. It was a nice distraction. More than just a distraction it was how he wanted to spend the rest of his life mixing between the stolen moments in the twilight where they became the ultimate chick flick staring into each other’s eyes and steeling kisses between fits of breathless laughter and the moments when things were as bad as they could be. Whether that be when they woke up screaming, crying or worthless or they needed to yell or seek comfort. It was as perfect as it could be and Dean could never have hoped for anything else. 

He knows that Cas wants to tell them and most of the time he's wondering whether or not they should tell people, or at least Sam, and get it over with. Then there’s also times he wonders how they haven’t worked it out already because try as he might, Cas really isn’t that quiet and Dean and Sam’s rooms aren’t exactly far away. 

But ultimately, he could never work up the courage to tell anybody. Not Sam. Not Charlie. No one. Not when it could mean losing them, or Cas he just couldn’t risk that. _’There ain’t not me if there ain’t no you’_ he’d told Sam that once and now that truth had extended its reach to so many others. Not when he had a whole rag tag bunch of misfits that that applied to. 

But the thing was he knew it wasn't because he was scared that Cas was just gonna up and leave again. He'd already established that Cas could and would hurt him but never intentionally and never for the wrong reasons. It wasn't even that he believed Sam or any of his adopted and extended family wouldn’t care or not support them, in fact he was willing to bet they'd be so supportive they'd throw him a damn parade for getting past his issues and taking a love laxative for his emotional constipation. 

Okay, that was a horrific metaphor and in their current state, certainly not one Dean wanted to think about. 

Mostly it was the fact that even 7 years after his death Dean still lived by Daddy's rules. Trying to be the manly player he was brought up to be. The muscle car, the music and the clothes: Dean loved all of that. He really did. But the macho man, big man attitude of a player. That's not him. That's John, still looming over him and controlling him from beyond the grave. Hell even Sammy see’s that, it’s precisely the reason that last time Sam went on a clothes run he returned with more than just some more cheap Henley’s that they’d rip in about 2 hunts but a ‘lover not a fighter’ t-shirt that Sam said reminded him of the hug t-shirt Dean donned in heaven. 

But inspite of it all Dean still loved his Dad and he knew that his Dad loved him, he literally gave his soul for him and he wouldn't have done that if he didn't. But he could also see (now anyways) that John Winchester had screwed him up almost to the point of ere redemption. 

Sure, Dean could see the progress he's made in the years since he was reunited with Sammy: 

He had settled; learned to enjoy nice clothes and things; released his suppressed inner geek; changed his hunting technique to ask questions first and shoot layer and he'd even stopped trying to supress the side of him that liked to stare at dudes asses - especially good ol’ captain _ass_ merica – also, have you seen Cas' ass? It's pretty freakin' great! Man Deans lucky to be tapping that.... but that's not the point. The point was that Dean knew that no-one would mind that he and Cas were together but that didn't stop the constant chanting in his head that told Dean he wasn't allowed to have nice things because sooner or later they all get taken away from him. 

Almost as if he could sense Dean was drowning himself in a pool of angst Cas gave his hand a squeeze and some of the tension that Dean hadn’t even realised he was stiff with bled out of him. Turning to the ex-angel he was met with a face which could only be described as understanding and loving. It made Dean want to lean in and capture those plump lips in a kiss so that he could tell him just how much he really meant to him the only way he really knew how. Even if he was still pissed off about the sewers incident. 

But he won’t, because he is driving and that would be dangerous. 

His baby has been in far too many car accidents and Dean is not going to put her through another one. No matter how inviting his boyfriend’s mouth might be. 

Fortunately for Dean it was only about 10 more minutes until they were back at base and he could steal a quick kiss from his angel – because he was, is and always will be Deans angel; juice or no juice – in the bunkers garage before he goes anywhere. 

Unfortunately, that isn’t what happens. Instead when they pull into the garage to park the impala they are met with a slightly healthier looking Sammy who was waiting eagerly for their return – hunter’s withdrawal Dean noted. So instead of a quick kiss (*ahem* make out session *ahem*) in the impala like the teenagers Dean wishes they were, they had to get out and fill in gigantor on their smelly encounter. 

Normally they might have greeted one another with a hug or a pat on the back but today Sam’s nose just twitched as the smell that was permeating from Dean and Cas reached his nose. Somewhere along the way it seemed that they had become mostly desensitised to it because of the prolonged exposure to it if Sam’s reaction was anything to go by. 

“I guess I’ll just let you clean up before you fill me in” Sam commented sounding almost sincere and sympathetic if it weren’t for the tell-tale signs of a smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth. 

“Sure thing, bitch” Dean replied jovially, patting Sammy on the chest as he passed and transferring some of the gunk he’d carried home onto his brothers clean t-shirt. 

“Jerk!” was all the response he received before he made it to his room to grab a change of clothes and strip of his sewage coated ones. 

“Talk about ew de toilet huh?!” Dean muttered to himself before he ventured off in search of a shower before the debrief. “Man this hunt was so much germier than I pictured.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is a WIP which I have thus far sucked at updating frequently, however, I have just finished school and have no obligations so my aim is to have it completed and posted by the end of the summer.  
> Feel free to leave any comments and I'll respond to them but other than that I hope you like it!  
> RDEx


End file.
